Oct 21, 2013, 3:43 PM PDT
On Monday, Jim Leyland announced that he stepping down as Detroit Tigers manager. Seeing a job opening, Jose Canseco threw his name in the hat by sending multiple tweets to the Tigers. Lets take a trip through the mind of Jose Canseco as he lobbies for a new job.
He starts out optimistic and very excited. He even has a clever hashtag to back it up. #MotorCitySeco. He forgot #NoBrainer. What a solid idea.
Canseco can’t spell “pitching.” It probably does make sense that he leaves that alone. Fortunately, the Tigers are in good shape in that department. Canseco believes in himself so much that he is already using the “O-word” in reference to the Tigers. This is a sure thing. Many MLB jobs are issued to people that simply ask for them on a social media platform, right?
After receiving no response, reality set in and Canseco tempered his enthusiasm a bit. It would help if his tweet was in the form of a question. He could have achieved the desired result by using a question mark at the end of the sentence. Maybe that’s why they never got back to him.
BOOM! Now he’s telling general manager Dave Dombrowski who to sign. Manager… and… assistant general manager? Sure, why not? It takes a brilliant baseball mind to know that signing two of the top free agents on the market will improve an already stacked team.
He’s already putting his coaching staff together. What a deal! He’ll be manager, hitting coach and assistant general manager. How can they possibly not consider this move? Such a bargain. The precedent is already set in Detroit, after all. Dombrowski is the CEO, president and general manager. If he can do it, why can’t Canseco have three jobs for the team?
Four jobs!? BEST. DEAL. EVER. Canseco could also be the strength and conditioning coach! Someone check on Dombrowski. Is he OK? Why hasn’t he responded? It’s maddening. This is a really good idea, you guys.
Oh, that must be it. He wants to keep it private. What if the other teams in the league caught on that Canseco could be the assistant general manager, manager, hitting coach, and handle the team’s strength and conditioning? Surely, his services would get bid up. Then they wouldn’t be able to afford Grant Balfour and Carlos Beltran. Dombrowski is a smart man.
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